“Behaviour is a child’s language”
As part of my training and experience I have a broad and extensive knowledge in child personality development, personality adaptation and how difficulties begin and can manifest in ways that often appear to be just bad behaviour or rebellion.
My help is for those thinking of starting a family, parents experiencing difficulties or looking to change the quality of their relationships and for professionals who care for children as part of their work.
What I offer doesn’t replace what might be a need for your a child to have their own counselling. Instead I can help you understand how to offer parenting which supports and understands their age related difficulties and behaviours’ as they pass through the different stages of growing up, provides a foundation for a respectful relationship with healthy boundaries enabling all to survive and how to begin or repair a relationship enabling children to feel secure and grow up confident in who they are and with the skills to fit in with their peers and society.
Whilst I don’t offer counselling for children and this is something that may be more suitable I have developed an approach which has proven effective and doesn’t require the children to come to therapy and an initial conversation or meeting should establish if my approach is likely to be right for you.
Some common unintentional reasons for children’s difficulties:
- Adult conflict in the home
- An inability to say “no” and mean “no” or giving consequences which are excessive or never carried through.
- Your words and actions – children develop by your modelling and less so by your words.
- Withdrawing from children emotionally when they do something wrong
- Failing to treat each child as an individual
- Inflexible parenting ( and a do as I say and not as I do mentality)
- A lack of consistency
- When discipline is always punishment and not a source of learning.
- Over controlling or squashing a child’s confidence when making mistakes
- Continual criticism – always picking up the negative / unintentional shaming
- The child’s emotions being closed down or ignored or you hiding your feelings
- A lack of positive attention or respect
- Reacting to your own difficulties when addressing children
- A hidden trauma or unidentified condition
Our work is designed to provide a framework and plan you can use to turn around your relationship. Although it may lead to immediate changes, only by remaining sensitive to what our children need and offering this with consistency and by modelling the behaviors you want your children to copy, will you create lasting change.