Parenting Guidance

“Behaviour is a child’s language”     

As part of my training and experience I have a broad and extensive knowledge in child personality development, personality adaptation and how difficulties begin and can manifest in ways that often appear to be just bad behaviour or rebellion.

My help is for those thinking of starting a family, parents experiencing difficulties or looking to change the quality of their relationships and for professionals who care for children as part of their work.

What I offer doesn’t replace what might be a need for your a child to have their own counselling. Instead I can help you understand how to offer parenting which supports and understands their age related difficulties and behaviours’ as they pass through the different stages of growing up, provides a foundation for a respectful relationship with healthy boundaries enabling all to survive and how to begin or repair a relationship enabling children to feel secure and grow up confident in who they are and with the skills to fit in with their peers and society.

Whilst I don’t offer counselling for children and this is something that may be more suitable I have developed an approach which has proven effective and doesn’t require the children to come to therapy and an initial conversation or meeting should establish if my approach is likely to be right for you.

Some common unintentional reasons for children’s difficulties:

  • Adult conflict in the home
  • An inability to say “no” and mean “no” or giving consequences which are excessive or never carried through.
  • Your words and actions – children develop by your modelling and less so by your words.
  • Withdrawing from children emotionally when they do something wrong
  • Failing to treat each child as an individual
  • Inflexible parenting ( and a do as I say and not as I do mentality)
  • A lack of consistency
  • When discipline is always  punishment and not a source of learning.
  • Over controlling or squashing a child’s confidence when making mistakes
  • Continual criticism – always picking up the negative / unintentional shaming
  • The child’s emotions being closed down or ignored or you hiding your feelings
  • A lack of positive attention or respect
  • Reacting to your own difficulties when addressing children
  • A hidden trauma or unidentified condition

Our work is designed to provide a framework and plan you can use to turn around your relationship. Although it may lead to immediate changes, only by remaining sensitive to what our children need and offering this with consistency and by modelling the behaviors you want your children to copy, will you create lasting change.

Getting in touch

Please feel free to contact me should you like to know more or arrange to meet. I can offer appointments Monday to Thursday from 9am to 8:30pm and on a Friday from 4 to 6pm.

Fees:£60 for each 60 minute session.

I can help you understand:

  • How their difficulties started.
  • The difference between normal age- related behaviours linked to emotional and social developmental as opposed to rudeness.
  • When rebellion, rudeness, withdrawal or aggression may be masking a child’s inner struggle or a worry they have.
  • What your child or children need from you.
  • How to keep or introduce healthy boundaries which enable children to feel safe and match your own values.
  • Ways to broaden your style and approach to parenting.
  • How to engage and discipline your children without pushing them away.
  • Spotting when children may have a potential medical or psychological condition.
  • What the effect of any tensions between parents or care givers has on children’s behaviour.
  • How your own early life experiences may be playing a part in your children’s difficulties.

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